Your beneath-the-surface reflectionAAE™
A clearer way into the conversation
Try opening with
From 3 Silent Relationship Destroyers
What lies beneath the surface?
Slow the moment down. Notice how your Attitude, Assumptions, and Expectations may be shaping the connection—then find words for a more honest conversation.
AAttitude
AAssumptions
EExpectations
A guided reflection
Name the moment. See the cycle.
This is not about blame. It is about becoming curious about what each person may be carrying into the connection.
01
What kind of tension are you navigating?
Choose the one that feels closest. You can add your own words next.
Please choose a stressor to continue.
02
Look beneath your first reaction.
Short, honest phrases are enough. Insert short, honest phrases below. Then write from your perspective—not what you think the other person should feel.
Your selected area
A gentle guardrail: describe your experience using “I” language. The goal is clarity, not a verdict about someone else.
Add a short reflection in all three AAE fields to continue.
03
Notice what keeps the cycle moving.
Each part can quietly reinforce the next. Awareness creates a place to pause.
Pause pointCuriosity
Your attitude
The energy you bring can influence which meaning feels most believable.
The AAE™ Framework
Awareness does not end the conversation.
It changes how it begins.
Created by Dr. Moni Kay, author of 3 Silent Relationship Destroyers.
Leadership is emotional regulation in motion.